Current:Home > InvestTikTokers swear the bird test can reveal if a relationship will last. Psychologists agree. -Wealth Axis Pro
TikTokers swear the bird test can reveal if a relationship will last. Psychologists agree.
View
Date:2025-04-16 23:14:59
TikTokers say they've discovered the secret to predicting whether a couple will last or eventually breakup − and psychologists say they're actually onto something.
It's called the bird test, and it's the subject of research conducted by psychologist John Gottman of The Gottman Institute, an organization dedicated to investigating the psychology of relationships. Videos tagged #birdtest have accumulated more than 16 million views with users testing the theory on their significant others.
The test involves getting excited about something insignificant and seeing how your partner reacts. For instance, if you look out the window and exclaim, "Wow, that's a beautiful bird," does your partner look to see what you're interested in or do they ignore it and go about their business? Or worse: Do they lash out and dismiss your enthusiasm entirely?
Repeated reactions that involve ignoring or flat-out rejecting your attempts to connect, even over something small like a bird, doesn't bode well for the future of the relationship, the bird test posits.
Gary Brown, a licensed marriage and family therapist, says there's a lot of truth to it.
"The beauty of the bird test is, basically ... it's a bid to ask whoever you're with to turn towards you and engage with you and show interest in something that you're interested in, versus what (Gottman) calls turning away," he says.
Is the bird test reliable?
The purpose of the bird test is to see how often your partner picks up on bids you offer them in your relationship. Brown describes a bid as "a request to engage and to connect with the other, no matter what the topic is," such as an invitation to look at a bird.
In his research, Gottman found couples who stayed together and reported feeling happy in their relationships turned toward each other about 86% of the time when presented a bid from their partner. Couples who broke up or felt unhappy in their relationships turned toward each other only about 33% of the time, according to The Gottman Institute's website.
David and Victoria Beckhamand how to (maybe) tell if your partner is in love with you
Bids may seem small, but they happen frequently, so it's important not to ignore them.
"Throughout the day, we're often making these bids right?" licensed psychotherapist Marni Feuerman says. "It's not unusual to say, 'Hey, do you want to have dinner now? Do you want to go on a walk? Oh, look at this cool Netflix show.' How is your partner responding and reacting?"
Several TikTokers have put their partners to the bird test, including former "Bachelorette" star Michelle Young, who practically jumped for joy when her significant other stopped to look out the window when she said she saw a cardinal. Gottman himself has endorsed the trend on TikTok as well.
What if the bird test goes wrong?
Don't panic if your partner fails a bird test.
Brown says that, if you're going to employ the bird test, make sure it's not during a time when your partner is occupied.
"If you're in a relationship and you are wanting to look at a bird, but it's the seventh game of the World Series for your partner, and your partner may say, 'I can't turn towards you now,' ... that doesn't mean that the relationship is doomed," Brown says.
Also, it's more important to see how your partner responds to you over time, so don't write them off if they fail a single bird test.
"Make those bids a few times over the course of a couple days," Feuerman says. "Look for the pattern. So, if consistently the partner ignores, doesn't respond, the bid isn't tuned into, then yes, I would say someone could reasonably discern 'I might have an issue here' or there might be a problem."
And if there is an issue, talk it out − and keep in mind no one is going to pass the bird test every time.
"People are going to miss bids on occasion, and so it's not about people getting worried or panicked that they're missing some, because you will. We all will," Feuerman says. "We're human."
veryGood! (8898)
Related
- Newly elected West Virginia lawmaker arrested and accused of making terroristic threats
- With every strike and counterstrike, Israel, the US and Iran’s allies inch closer to all-out war
- Dry skin bothering you? This is what’s causing it.
- 2024 NFL draft order: Top 18 first-round selections secured after Week 18
- Spooky or not? Some Choa Chu Kang residents say community garden resembles cemetery
- Patrick J. Adams Reveals His Thoughts on a Suits Spinoff With Meghan Markle
- Biggest moments you missed at the Golden Globes, from Jennifer Lawrence to Cillian Murphy
- Bomb targeting police assigned for anti-polio campaign kills 6 officers, wounds 10 in NW Pakistan
- Meet first time Grammy nominee Charley Crockett
- FDA: Recalled applesauce pouches had elevated lead levels and another possible contaminant
Ranking
- North Carolina trustees approve Bill Belichick’s deal ahead of introductory news conference
- Colman Domingo Reacts to Rumor He's Replacing Jonathan Majors as Kang in the Marvel Cinematic Universe
- German farmers block highway access roads, stage protests against plan to scrap diesel tax breaks
- Once Known for Its Pollution, Pittsburgh Becomes a Poster Child for Climate Consciousness
- Alex Murdaugh’s murder appeal cites biased clerk and prejudicial evidence
- Margot Robbie Shares How Her Girlfriends Feel About Her Onscreen Kisses With Hollywood's Hottest Men
- Thousands forced from homes by quake face stress and exhaustion as Japan mourns at least 161 deaths
- Oscar Pistorius and the Valentine’s killing of Reeva Steenkamp. What happened that night?
Recommendation
Stamford Road collision sends motorcyclist flying; driver arrested
Stabbing leaves 1 dead at New York City migrant shelter; 2nd resident charged with murder
See Bill Hader and Ali Wong Share a Passionate Kiss During Golden Globes 2024
Tyre Nichols’ family to gather for vigil 1 year after police brutally beat him
The Super Bowl could end in a 'three
Air attack in northwestern Myanmar kills 17, including children, but military denies responsibility
North Korea’s Kim turns 40. But there are no public celebrations of his birthday
Oprah Winfrey Shines on Golden Globes Red Carpet Amid Weight Loss Journey