Current:Home > MySelena Gomez reveals she can't carry a baby. It's a unique kind of grief. -Wealth Axis Pro
Selena Gomez reveals she can't carry a baby. It's a unique kind of grief.
View
Date:2025-04-14 16:04:33
Selena Gomez has revealed she's unable to carry a child due to medical reasons − an experience that can cause deep grief our society often overlooks.
“I haven’t ever said this,” Gomez told Vanity Fair, in a cover story published online Monday, “but I unfortunately can’t carry my own children. I have a lot of medical issues that would put my life and the baby’s in jeopardy. That was something I had to grieve for a while.”
The 32-year-old star of "Only Murders in the Building" said she still plans on becoming a mom one day. It's just not going to happen "necessarily the way I envisioned it," she added.
“I thought it would happen the way it happens for everyone," she said. "I’m in a much better place with that. I find it a blessing that there are wonderful people willing to do surrogacy or adoption, which are both huge possibilities for me. It made me really thankful for the other outlets for people who are dying to be moms. I’m one of those people. I’m excited for what that journey will look like, but it’ll look a little different. At the end of the day, I don’t care. It’ll be mine. It’ll be my baby.”
Mourning getting pregnant is a valid grief
Grief experts previously told USA TODAY that women who discover they can't get pregnant often mourn what they thought bringing a child into the world would look like for them. Though it isn't the same as grieving the death of a loved one, it's a painful experience nonetheless.
"There's this hierarchy around what grief deserves to get mourned or get honored," said Loree Johnson, a licensed marriage and family therapist, adding all forms of grief are valid.
Susan Youngsteadt, a social worker in Raleigh, North Carolina, previously opened up to USA TODAY about her experience discovering she carries a hereditary gene for breast cancer at the age of 25. As a result, she made the decision not to have biological children.
While she said she has a loving partner who is also OK with not having children, "that is something that I actively seek therapeutic support around and a community around of choosing to be childless. And some of that choice is due to my health, it is due to the risks that exist in my family system with both of my parents having a cancer diagnosis."
More:At 25 she found out she had the breast cancer gene. Now, she's grieving motherhood.
As with all forms of grief, Youngsteadt said some days are better than others.
"Sometimes it's hard to separate (the different grief experiences)," she said. "But I think something we tell people to do clinically and therapeutically is that you have to hold space for each one and take all the time you need to cry or have a ritual or seek support around each thing and let it run its own course. And then you can pick up the next thing."
Coping with grief
When it comes to grief, psychotherapist and podcast host Amy Morin previously told USA TODAY talking could be beneficial, but not all talk will be helpful.
"When someone is grieving another type of loss, like the loss of hope after learning they can't have a child, the information might be kept private," she said. "Other people may also minimize the impact of a loss. That can slow the healing process."
My dog died two months ago.Pet loss causes deep grief that our society ignores.
Grief slithers into our lives at inconvenient times. It leaves us uncomfortable and unwilling to discuss it.
"People get worried that it might be contagious," David Kessler, grief expert and founder of Grief.com, previously told USA TODAY. "Like, if I hear too much about your parent dying, it doesn't mean my parent's dying soon. Is it?"
More:Selena Gomez's revealing documentary gave her freedom: 'There wasn't any hiding anymore'
Grief wasn't something Youngsteadt ever planned on. No one does.
But "the older I get, and the more grief has touched my life, I think that's where I need to be," she said. "And I think that's where I need to immerse myself. It's where I feel the most aligned. It's where I feel – it's weird to say comfortable – but it's where I really feel like that's where I'm supposed to be."
Contributing: David Oliver
veryGood! (5)
Related
- Could Bill Belichick, Robert Kraft reunite? Maybe in Pro Football Hall of Fame's 2026 class
- All Apple Watches are back on sale after court pauses import ban upheld by White House
- Embezzlement of Oregon weekly newspaper’s funds forces it to lay off entire staff and halt print
- Live updates | Tens of thousands of Palestinians stream into Rafah as Israel expands its offensive
- Jorge Ramos reveals his final day with 'Noticiero Univision': 'It's been quite a ride'
- First edible mascot in sports history stars in the Pop-Tarts Bowl
- Maine secretary of state who opted to keep Trump off primary ballot is facing threat of impeachment
- Eurostar cancels trains due to flooding, stranding hundreds of travelers in Paris and London
- Tarte Shape Tape Concealer Sells Once Every 4 Seconds: Get 50% Off Before It's Gone
- Trump’s lawyers say he may testify at January trial over defamation damages in sex abuse case
Ranking
- Senate begins final push to expand Social Security benefits for millions of people
- A tumultuous last 2023 swing through New Hampshire for Nikki Haley
- Make the Most of Your Lululemon Gift Card with these End-of-Year Scores, from $29 Tops to $19 Bags & More
- Pregnant Jessie James Decker Enjoys Beach Trip With Big Daddy Eric Decker
- Meta releases AI model to enhance Metaverse experience
- Browns vs. Jets Thursday Night Football highlights: Cleveland clinches AFC playoff berth
- Migrant crossings at U.S. southern border reach record monthly high in December
- Prosecutors urge appeals court to reject Trump’s immunity claims in election subversion case
Recommendation
Gen. Mark Milley's security detail and security clearance revoked, Pentagon says
Gypsy Rose Blanchard Shares Photo With Sister as She Reunites With Family After Prison Release
Tech company Catapult says NCAA looking at claims of security breach of football videos
Magnetic balls sold at Walmart recalled: Feds say they're too strong, pose ingestion hazards
Highlights from Trump’s interview with Time magazine
Rev. William Barber II says AMC theater asked him to leave over a chair; AMC apologizes
A tumultuous last 2023 swing through New Hampshire for Nikki Haley
How J.J. McCarthy's pregame ritual will help Michigan QB prepare to face Alabama